Identify triggers: Understand what triggers your self-sabotaging behavior and make a plan to avoid or counteract them. Awareness of the triggers is a first step, but more than half the battle. Spend time observing and analyzing to find them.
Challenge negative thoughts: Be aware of negative thoughts and challenge them with positive, realistic alternatives. Spend time in the positive space, work to visualize the positive, create details in your mind, all in an effort to evoke a positive emotion/feeling, even a smile...this will create endorphins, and reinforce the idea of creating positive thoughts/concepts/perceptions.
Set specific, achievable goals: Set clear and specific goals that are achievable and track your progress. Research shows that setting very small incremental goals, or more achievable and more sustaining. Don't be afraid to to start with tiny goals: Instead of competing in a marathon, start with going walking for 20 mins 3x a week.
Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself and remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes and has setbacks. For perfectionists, it is helpful to acknowledge and be aware of the internal drive for perfection and work to see self and the world on a continuum or scale. 0-100. and that no one or thing or concept is ever 100%, work on a willingness to accept and even appreciate all things below 100.
Find a support system: Surround yourself with supportive friends and family, or consider working with a therapist or coach.
Practice mindfulness: Practice mindfulness techniques such as meditation and deep breathing to help you stay in the present moment and avoid getting caught up in negative thoughts. deep breathing sounds passe, but it allows for oxygen, fuel, to your brain so that you can think and process thoughts more rationally.
Reward yourself: Reward yourself for making progress and achieving your goals to build momentum and encourage positive behavior. Again, igniting those endorphins help create habit and repetitive positive behaviors and thoughts.
Learn from mistakes: Learn from your mistakes and use them as opportunities for growth and self-improvement.
Lisa Willmon, LPC-S
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